2012-02-01 “Cycle of Grief Part 4”

“Grief” is an emotion that we feel when we experience loss.  Death is only one kind of loss.  Other losses that make us grieve include divorce, losing your job, loss of a pet and so on…all of those things that end the life that we knew and force us to start a new one.  There are a number of factors that will affect the intensity of the grief such as the quality of a relationship, an individual’s acceptance of death and the manner in which the loss occurred.   

The sixth stage of grief that we will experience is Panic.  All of the sudden you will wonder how you will be able to manage now that you have lost the shoulder that you had always leaned on.  You will wonder how you will handle special days like Christmas and birthdays.  For some, it will mean that you will need to find a job.  Panic can be a pretty overwhelming stage. 

 I remember how overwhelming the “firsts” were…the first Christmas, the first birthday.  Every family has traditions; a big one for Gail, the kids and I is to see the fireworks on the first of July.  We have a million dollar view from our trailer and we have a fire and cook hotdogs.  I think the first of July would hurt a lot for me.  Sometimes the best way to handle those “first” times is to do something totally different than you usually do. 

  Selfishness is the next stage.  When you go through this stage, you will feel like nobody else has a problem like you do.  You can become so lost that you will find it hard to think of the needs of others.  You might think that people don’t care enough or that they are not feeling the loss with the same magnitude that you are.  Rest assured that in their own way, they are…they just may not show it in the same way that you do.