I’m back from Toronto with a heightened respect for what Moms and Dads go through when a pregnancy doesn’t end the way that it should. I don’t remember being worried when we were having our children that something might go wrong; maybe it was the ignorance of not knowing the things that could go wrong or maybe I was too excited to let those thoughts ruin my dreams. Today that would be different. The most powerful part of this course was when a panel of parents told us their own stories of how, in one millisecond their dreams were shattered.
The point that was stressed most in this course was that families need time to be with a baby who is born still…Moms, Dads, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and grandparents may all be a part of that family. And from what I have learned, all hospitals have cameras on hand so that they can take pictures; either a nurse will take pictures or give the camera to the family so that they can take their own. Some hospitals have enlisted the services of photographers who specialize in capturing moments that in the past have slipped by. And while some may be surprised that pictures are taken, I will tell you this…years ago I helped out an elderly woman who was born in the late 1800’s. When she died I cleaned out her house and I came across many pictures of babies who had died…not this woman’s children since she had none, but babies of other people. Those pictures would be 100 years old now and it shows that at one time taking pictures was exactly what we did. Since then maybe we went through a time when we separated life and death and thought that pictures wouldn’t let us move forward, so we stopped taking them. But now we’re listening to our hearts.
At one time if there even was a funeral for a stillborn baby, the casket would have been closed but today that has changed too. I will always remember reading a note that someone wrote in a register book…it said “thank you for the privilege of being able to see your beautiful son”. To me, that said it all.
