I’ve noticed lately that some people are reinventing the obituary. This part ofMary Agnes Mullaney’s obituary is an example of just that:
If you’re about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop. Consider Mary Agnes Mullaney “Pink” who entered eternal life on Sunday September 1, 2013. We were blessed to learn many valuable lessons from Pink during her 85 years, among them:
Never throw away old pantyhose. Use the old ones to tie gutters, child-proof cabinets, tie toilet flappers or hang Christmas ornaments.
If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn’t leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay.
Let a dog (or two or three) share your bed. Say the rosary while you walk them.
Go to church with a chicken sandwich in your purse. Cry at the consecration every time. Give the chicken sandwich to your homeless friend after mass.
Go to a nursing home and kiss everyone. Invite new friends to Thanksgiving dinner.
Keep the car keys under the front seat so they don’t get lost.
Make the car dance by lightly tapping the brakes to the beat of songs on the radio.
Offer rides to people carrying a big load or caught in the rain or summer heat. Believe the hitchhiker you pick up who says he is a landscaper and his name is “Peat Moss”.
Help anyone struggling to get their kids into a car or shopping cart.
Take magazines you’ve already read to your doctor’s office for others to enjoy. Do not tear off the mailing label, “Because if someone wants to contact me, that would be nice.”
In her lifetime, Pink made contact time after time. Those who’ve taken her lessons to heart will continue to ensure that a cold drink will be left for the overheated garbage collector and mail carrier, every baby will be kissed, every nursing home resident will be visited, the hungry will have a sandwich, the guest will have a warm bed and the encroaching possum will know the soothing sensation of a barbecue brush upon its back.
She is survived by her children and grandchildren whose photos she would share with prospective friends in the checkout line…