“Complaints arise where there has been a dispute among family members (or estate trustees) concerning the right to make funeral arrangements.  The law is clear that whenever there is an estate trustee (executor/executrix) or administrator, that person has the authority to make the decisions regarding the disposition of the body, regardless of whether there is a next-of-kin who wants to make the decisions. “ 

“Unfortunately however, there may be cases where there is no estate trustee, no one has yet been appointed administrator, and there is a dispute among the family members.  In these cases, the common law provides that the next-of-kin has the right to make the decisions regarding the disposition of the body.  The order of priority that the common law (i.e. judge-made law) has given to help decide which person is considered the “next-of-kin” is as follows:

1.  Spouse                                           6. Brothers or sisters

2.  Children                                         7. Grandparents

3.  Grandchildren                             8.  Uncles, aunts, nephews and nieces

4.  Great grandchildren                  9.  Collateral relatives of more remote degree   

5.  Father or mother

The Estates Act provision that addresses who should be named an administrator by the court defines “spouse” as “the person to whom the deceased was married immediately before the death of the deceased or person of the opposite sex or the same sex with whom the deceased was living in a conjugal relationship outside marriage immediately before the death”.  Therefore, a husband, wife or person of the same or opposite sex who was living in a conjugal relationship with the deceased immediately before death should have priority over any of the family members in 2 through 9 above.”

She was predeceased by her loving husband of 34 years, Don Parker, and her son Richard Sass, of Erieau.  She will be missed by her daughter, Rebecca Spicer of Chatham, and her son, Paul Sass, of Calgary, as well as her stepchildren, Pam & Tom Innes of Petawawa, Larry & Gloria Parker of Cedar Springs, Tim & Marg Parker of Blenheim, Don-Paul Parker of Chatham, and Dennis Parker of Erieau.  She was loved by eleven grandchildren and many great grandchildren as well.

Pat served for over 30 years as a nurse in Chatham, and is survived by many fellow nurses who were wonderful lifelong friends.  She was a painter and knitter who generously taught others everything she learned.  She enjoyed playing cards and bingo with many special friends in Erieau, who will miss her generous spirit and kindness.

Friends and family are invited to offer their support at gatherings on Tuesday from 2 – 4 and 7 – 9 p.m. at the Blenheim Community Funeral Home.  A Funeral Service for Pat will be held at the Funeral Home on Wednesday, May 9, 2012 at 11:00 a.m. with Rev. David Fuller of St. Paul’s Anglican Church officiating.  Cremation will follow with a private family graveside service at a later date.  Friends wishing to remember Pat with a memorial donation are asked to consider St. Paul’s Church of Erieau.

Although I understand the importance of change, there are some changes in this old world that make me wonder.  I listened to a radio show last week that interviewed the CEO of Chapters Indigo, probably Canada’s largest book store.  She talked about the effects of electronic books and e-readers; how consumers are taking advantage of online books and how fewer people are going to bookstores.  Part of me understands that this is happening since my wife and my children do exactly that, but in my old fashioned ways, I like to browse a book store looking for the best ever book to read, to hold it in my hand, to take it to a comfortable chair and fall asleep, sometimes only after a few pages. 

Funeral Service has never been exempt from change.  I’ve talked about the “rubber stamp funerals” of days gone by and how few options there were back then.  I remember when cremation wasn’t discussed and now it’s common.  In a few years we may be passing cremation over for one of the more environmentally friendly options that are appearing on the horizon.  It will be a constant source of amazement.

A couple of weeks ago the information I talked about was regarding the Cemeteries that are managed by the Municipality of Chatham-Kent.  There are a number of other cemeteries in our area that are not run by the municipality.  Many of those cemeteries are operated by a board who define their own standards so long as they comply with any legislation that is in place.  They also set their own fees which may differ from other cemeteries.  Some of these cemeteries contract out services so that they don’t incur the expense of owning machinery and paying employees.  Some of the cemeteries that were started by families have certain days of the year when descendants of those founders come together and have a “cemetery cleanup day” to keep expenses down. 

The legislation that covers cemeteries in Ontario is called the Cemeteries Act and it can be found on the following website:   http://www.e-laws.gov.on.ca/html/statutes/english/elaws_statutes_90c04_e.htm  This act defines the rights and responsibilities of both cemeteries and consumers.  For instance, it states that “no person shall sell interment rights unless that person does so as an agent acting on behalf of a licensed owner”.  What it also says is that if I want to sell my interment rights to a grave, I can “require, by written demand, the owner to repurchase the rights at any time before they are used” and furthermore that “every owner who receives a demand made under subsection (1) shall repurchase the interment rights within thirty days after receiving the demand”.  That covers a common question as to why you can’t sell your graves to someone else.

I am a senior citizen, but, as well, I am a person – the product of heredity, environment and of all the events of my life.  The happiness, sorrows, achievements and disappointments have given me the ability to see life with a clarity of perception and appreciation not possible 50 years ago.  The beauty of a sunset, the flash of a hummingbird poised over a flower or the smile of a child can move me to tears.  But, on the other hand, the slights or hurts, real or imagined can wound more deeply than ever.  I love this beautiful world and have compassion for its under-privileged, perhaps because I remember the years of Depression.  I am, though widowed, fortunate to be in my own home, to drive my car and be able to travel.  My life might be compared to a river flowing along smoothly but with undercurrents below the surface.  The future, in my view, holds great promise.  Everywhere I see goodness and kindness, especially in time of need.  Our young people are enterprising, imaginative and innovative far beyond my generation.  Of course, their education and opportunities exceed ours in the same proportion, or so we like to think.  As the eddies surface on the river, so, in the silence of the night or in the darkest hours before the dawn, a thought emerges in my mind.  “I love this world but I must leave it – perhaps soon.”  But I have lived and loved.  I have children and grandchildren of whom I am very proud.  Somewhere along the way I must have done some good or left a pleasant memory.  If so, I have not lived in vain.  (Gladys Atkins)

There are a number of cemeteries in Chatham-Kent; many are operated by the Municipality and some are operated privately (generally by a board of directors).  I will keep this Musings to the cemeteries that are operated by the Municipality of Chatham-Kent such as Evergreen Cemetery in Blenheim and Greenwood Cemetery in Ridgetown which is operated on behalf of the Greenwood Cemetery Board by way of a contract.   

Let’s say that I bought eight graves in Evergreen Cemetery.  In each of those graves, I can inter one casket and two urns containing cremated remains, or if there is not a casket interred in a grave, I can inter four urns in that grave.  There are a couple of rules though that must be considered.  First, since I own the graves, permission must be granted for someone else to be interred there.  Second, if you are thinking about using a grave for one casket and two urns, the urns (if interred before the casket) need to be interred in such a way as to not be disturbed when the casket interment is made

So how do other people get permission to use the extra graves that I bought?  There are several ways that can happen.  The best way may be for me to take care of giving permission myself and that can be done through the Chatham-Kent Municipal Cemetery Office.  However, in the event that I die before I have given permission, there are still options available for the continued use of cemetery property.  Should you have any questions, feel free to call the Cemetery Office at 519-360-1998 or e-mail them at CKpch@chatham-kent.ca